Unemployment
by trutenor
Summary: What will the world warriors do when they have been given the pink slip? A spinoff sequel of E! True Hollywood Story: Street Fighter. Ch 3 up!
1. The bad news...

A.N: Although this will probably never happen, I sometimes wonder what would happen if it did. What would the world warriors would do to make ends meet? I guess there's only one way to find out…  
  
Location: Capcom of Japan  
  
All the Street fighters from every game except Dan are in the CEO's meeting room. There was business to attend to…  
  
CEO: Where is Dan?"  
  
As if on cue, Dan runs into the meeting room and falls on the floor. He picks himself up and sits down in the chair provided for him.  
  
CEO: You're 15 minutes late!  
  
Dan: Sorry! I got caught in the rush hour traffic!  
  
CEO: Never mind. Now that everyone is here, we can get started. As some of you may know, the Street Fighter franchise has been suffering severely for the past several months. We managed to bury Mortal Kombat and managed to stay above our main rival SNK, but we are still losing the fighting game war slowly.  
  
Ryu: What are you talking about?  
  
CEO: What I mean is, Namco, the company that owns Pac-man, is number one with their Tekken series. We can't compete with that.  
  
Ken: But we have a 3-D series as well! What about Street Fighter EX?  
  
CEO: That lasted for a while. But a lot of people just saw that as a Tekken clone. That's not the only blow to us however…  
  
Chun Li: What else is hurting us?  
  
CEO: That live-action movie you guys made a few years back. That really hurt us.  
  
Cammy: Yeah luv. That movie nearly killed us.  
  
Guile: Although I was the star in that movie, they had some nerve getting Jean-Claude Van Damme to play me! God Damn!!  
  
Bison: The movie was so bad that the actor portraying me died after it was done.  
  
Dee Jay: You mean Raul Julia?  
  
Bison: Yeah, that's his name.  
  
Dan: Wasn't he Gomez in the Addam's family movies as well?  
  
Dee Jay: Yeah. He was pretty good too.  
  
CEO: We are getting off the subject here. Because of all these mistakes and nearly fatal blows, Capcom has nearly had to file bankruptcy. Although we managed to slowly come back, the Tekken series is beating us too bad. At this rate, Namco will completely put Capcom out business! So it pains me to do the only thing left in order to save Capcom…. All of you…. Are fired…  
  
All the Street Fighters: What!!  
  
CEO: I'm sorry. But it is the only option left. The Street Fighter franchise is no longer profitable. That live-action movie came back to haunt us. I have your final checks here. I will leave them on the table. It has been an honor working with all of you. Take care of yourselves. (CEO exits)  
  
Ryu: Crap! Now what are we going to do?  
  
Ken: I'm still rich! I'm going to open up my own dojo!  
  
Dan: I knew that this would happen! That's why I filled out an application for another job in advance!  
  
Cammy: What are you going to do, luv?  
  
Dan: Can't tell you. It's a secret…  
  
Chun Li. Ookay… So Ryu, what are you going to do? I'm sure you can find another job with your college degree!  
  
Ryu: Actually Chun Li, that's something that I've been meaning to tell you. I never went to college…  
  
All the Street Fighters except Ryu: What!  
  
Some Street Fighters spit out their coffee, while the others just fell on the floor laughing. All except Ken, Chun Li, and Sakura of course…  
  
Chun Li: You are going to go to school, right?  
  
Ryu: I want to, but college is expensive. How will I get the money?  
  
Ken: I'll cover it. You've saved my life so many times it's the least I can do.  
  
Chun Li: I still love you Ryu. I want you to move in with me in my apartment.  
  
Ryu: But you don't work for Interpol anymore. What will you do?  
  
Chun Li: I'm going to work in a Chinese restaurant. That will help us with food and bills.  
  
Dan: What are you going to do, Blanka?  
  
Blanka: Arrough! Aroough! (I'm going to that "special" school I told you about. I'll finally be able to learn how to speak so everyone will be able to understand me! Plus it's really cheap! And it's only for one year!)  
  
Dan: Where is it located?  
  
Blanka: Arrough! (In Hong Kong)  
  
Dan: I'm proud of you Blanka! I have an apartment there! You can move in with me!  
  
Ken: What's Blanka talking about?  
  
Dan: Blanka is going to that special school in Hong Kong that will give you a bachelor's degree in one year! And it's really cheap!  
  
Chun Li: Ryu, you're going to that school.  
  
Ken: That would also be a lot easier on my wallet…  
  
Dan: You and Blanka will be classmates! You two can study together!  
  
Ryu: I don't know how to thank you guys…  
  
Chun Li: By graduating. I'll help you with your homework every night. And if you do really good, I'll help you with extra credit too?*wink, wink*  
  
Ryu started to blush red from what Chun Li said. He knew what extra credit meant…  
  
Ryu: Then it's settled. I'll go to this school in Hong Kong and move in with Chun Li. Dan, you still haven't told us what your new job is.  
  
Dan: Give it up, Shoto boy. I'll never tell in a million years…  
  
Ken: I guess we'll just have to find out…  
  
Dan: Good luck.  
  
  
  
This is only beginning, so stay tuned! I will do chapters on most of the Street Fighters! Wonder what Zangief will do? You'll find out! And if you have any ideas for what a Street Fighter could do for a living, let me know! I'll give you credit and use your idea! 


	2. School of Hard Knocks...

A.N: I must apologize for the lack of an update. I've had personal problems over the past couple of weeks. My grandmother died, so I had to pay my respects. During the time that I spent with family, I had no access to the Internet. But I still had ideas daily for what I wanted to do with this story as well as my others. Now that I've gotten over my grandma's death, I can focus again on my stories. Expect more chapters more recently…  
  
  
  
A.N: Special thanks goes to Eli-kun and Macrossa for Akuma's new place of employment. For some of you who may already know, then you can laugh with me! For those of you who don't know, you will soon find out…  
  
So our favorite Street Fighters are out of a job. While some people like Zangief or Ken don't have to worry about anything, others such as Ryu and Blanka must struggle to make ends meet. Let's check in on the World Warriors…  
  
  
  
Before I forget, let me say this for the people who don't know. Please don't sue me. I don't own Street Fighter. None of the characters from Street Fighter or nothing associated with Street Fighter. Not even the snake in Blanka's stage…  
  
Sakura was eating breakfast at the table. She still couldn't believe that she was out of a job. Her parents on the other hand, were elated. They never really liked Sakura Street fighting in the first place. Maybe with Sakura not doing Street Fighter, she could be a normal school girl…  
  
"Bye Mom! Bye Dad!"  
  
Sakura walked out the door to get on the bus. As the door to the bus opened, Sakura gasped. She couldn't believe what she was seeing…  
  
Akuma: Get on! Now!  
  
Sakura: Akuma! You're the bus driver?  
  
Akuma: Yeah… Ever since the CEO of Capcom fired our a***s, I needed to find another job. So are you getting on the bus, or not!  
  
Sakura: Coming…  
  
Sakura was scared out of her life. She sat at the very back of the bus, making sure that Akuma couldn't see her…  
  
The kids on the bus were talking about various topics such as music, fights, and crushes on other students. Of course, all this noise was too much for the Master of the Fists, so he had to do something about it…  
  
Akuma: Be quiet!  
  
The kids continued to talk.  
  
Akuma: Shut up! Don't make me have to stop this bus!  
  
The kids heard Akuma, but they thought he was joking. Little did they know that Akuma was not one to be messed with…  
  
Akuma: Shut up! This is your last warning!  
  
The kids on the bus still wouldn't listen to a thing he said. Now things were about to get a little scary…  
  
Akuma stopped the bus. He stood up and started to glow a red aura. The bus started to shake from his dark ki rising. His blood red eyes started glowing…  
  
Akuma: The next person that says something, will feel a fate even worse then death… So anybody got something to say?  
  
The entire bus was quiet. You couldn't even hear a pin drop.  
  
Akuma: Good…  
  
Akuma let a slight grin come upon his face as he started the engine back up and drove the bus. He loved it when things went his way…  
  
The bus was silent the entire way to the school. Akuma stopped the bus once he reached the front entrance.  
  
Akuma: Get out…  
  
All the students were off the bus within five seconds. They did not need to be told twice. At least not by Akuma…  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, in Hong Kong, Ryu was busy getting himself ready for his first day of college. He still couldn't believe that he would finally be going…  
  
Chun Li was even more excited than Ryu was about him going to school. She would finally be able to brag to her friends about her man that was strong not only in body, but in mind. She had on a long navy blue skirt, a shirt, and a navy blue dress jacket that matched her skirt. She looked like she was a teacher. She decided to see how Ryu was doing before she took him to school…  
  
Chun Li: Ryu! You are not going to school in that!  
  
Ryu: What's the matter with it?  
  
Ryu had on a pair of blue jeans, and a white t-shirt. At least it wasn't his trademark white gi, or he would have really been in trouble…  
  
Chun Li: Ryu! You're going to school! Not an exhibition match! You need to look more professional.  
  
Ryu: Why?  
  
Chun Li: Because that's how it's done in school, Ryu! You're not a kid anymore! You're grown up! So you have to dress grown up! Here, let me help you…  
  
10 minutes later…  
  
Ryu: I hate this! It makes me look so stiff!  
  
Chun Li: Oh! You look so handsome!  
  
Ryu: I look like a dork.  
  
Ryu had on a pair of black dress pants, a white long sleeve dress shirt, and a black tie. Chun Li even did what had never been done before. She combed his hair…*shudder*  
  
Chun Li: (with puppy dog eyes) Come on Ryu! It's only in the morning! You can change your clothes as soon as class is over! You'll only have to do this for one year! Please? For me Ryu?  
  
Ryu couldn't resist Chun Li's puppy dog eyes. It made her more attractive. He simply smiled.  
  
Ryu: Very well. I shall go to school in this. I shall keep up with this attire until I am finished. But you owe me big time tonight…  
  
Chun Li's eyes opened wide as she finally realized what Ryu would want as payment. A grin came upon her face as she started to blush…  
  
Chun Li: It's a deal! You won't regret it tonight…  
  
This time, it was Ryu's turn to blush. Chun Li broke the silence by looking at her watch…  
  
Chun Li: Come on! We still have to go and pick up Blanka!  
  
Chun Li and Ryu got into her car and drove to the apartment that Dan and Blanka were sharing. Ryu got out the car and knocked at the door. Blanka answered it. Ryu was surprised when he saw Blanka. Blanka was dressed in the exact same attire that he was.  
  
Blanka: Arrough!(Come on Ryu! We have to go to school!)  
  
Ryu still didn't understand what Blanka was saying. Blanka pointed a finger at Ryu, then to himself, then to Chun Li's car. It didn't take long for Ryu to get the message…  
  
Ryu: That's right! We have to go to school!  
  
Blanka nodded as he got in the back seat and Ryu got up front with Chun Li. Chun Li started the engine and the car was off to the special school…  
  
Chun Li: Hey Blanka, you are housebroken, aren't you?  
  
Blanka was a little bit upset about what Chun Li asked, but he understood. He was a beast.  
  
Blanka simply nodded.  
  
Chun Li: Good…  
  
The car finally arrived at the school. Ryu and Blanka got out the car.  
  
Ryu: Well, I guess this is goodbye until tonight…  
  
Chun Li: You have a good day at school honey. I'll see you tonight…  
  
Chun Li then wrapped her arms around Ryu and gave him a goodbye kiss. She got back into her car and drove away…  
  
Ryu: Well, time to start class…  
  
  
  
Ryu and Blanka eventually found homeroom. The class was a mixture of people. Some people looked professional, while some people looked like they belonged to a rock band. Needless to say, all the women in the class thought Ryu was really cute. They threw various things at him from pictures and phone numbers to bras and pantyhose…  
  
Ryu: (If Chun Li found out about any of this, she would kill me…)  
  
As the teacher spoke, she told Blanka that he was going to have to have some special speech classes by another teacher. For the first week, he wouldn't be attending homeroom. She led Blanka out the door and told the class that she would be back. As soon as her and Blanka left the room, that's when all chaos erupted…  
  
Every girl in the room threw themselves at Ryu. They tried to kiss him and do other indecent acts to him.  
  
Ryu: (Fighting Akuma is easier than this…)  
  
Ryu wondered how he was going to get threw the day…  
  
  
  
Sakura managed to get through the school day. She felt safer listening to one of the teacher's lectures then being on the bus with Akuma. He was even scarier as a bus driver than he was as a Street Fighter…  
  
Sakura was walking with Karin out the school. They were talking about how life was without Street Fighter involved…  
  
Karin: So how are things?  
  
Sakura: Things were okay until I had to deal with a fate worse then death…  
  
Karin: What do you mean?  
  
A bus pulls up to the school. It almost crashes into a fire hydrant…  
  
Sakura: That…  
  
Karin is in shock as she finally realizes what Sakura had been talking about. Akuma was the bus driver. And with Street Fighter out of business, he would be the bus driver for quite some time…  
  
Karin: Want to come to my house for a while?  
  
Sakura: I never thought you would ask…  
  
Sakura and Karin ran into the limo. Karin ordered her limo driver to drive like his life depended on it. Of course the limo driver was a bit hesitant at first…  
  
Karin: Do it or else I'll make you sit with him…  
  
Karin was pointing to the bus that Akuma was driving. The limo driver didn't need anymore convincing…  
  
The limo took off at over 75 mph. It had speed that rivaled the Batmobile…  
  
Until Street Fighter was employed again, Sakura told herself that she wouldn't be riding the bus home anymore…  
  
  
  
School was finally over for Ryu and Blanka. Both of them had gone through a lot that day. As they waited for Chun Li, Blanka surprised Ryu…  
  
Blanka: How class?  
  
Ryu's eyes opened wide in amazement. He was able to understand Blanka. Without needing Dan to translate…  
  
Ryu: You can talk?  
  
Blanka: I always could talk…You just never understand me…till now…  
  
Ryu: That special teacher must have really helped you out…  
  
Blanka: Yeah…She good…So how class…  
  
Ryu: Every woman in there wanted me…  
  
Blanka: Even teacher…  
  
Ryu: Especially her. When she came back from taking you to your class, she kept flirting with me while teaching. She even had me go up to the blackboard and solve a problem!  
  
Blanka: What bad about that…  
  
Ryu: She slapped my butt! She said that I was a naughty boy, and that I would have to be punished for it after class. She had a seductive grin!  
  
  
  
Just then, thousands of girls came out from the doors behind Ryu and Blanka. They were trying to get to Ryu. A few of them wanted Blanka as well. Blanka's "wild" side really aroused them…  
  
Ryu and Blanka didn't know what to do. They were used to fighting warriors that could break a table with their finger. They had no idea how to deal with thousands of girls that wanted to have their way with them…  
  
Ryu and Blanka were saved however, as Chun Li showed up in her car. Ryu and Blanka jumped in the car, and the car disappeared before the girls could catch them…  
  
  
  
It looks like some of our Street Fighters are having some problems. I'll check back on them in a chapter or two. Meanwhile, stay tuned for the next chapter when we take a look at another set of Street Fighters. Maybe we'll find out what Dan's new "job" is. Until then, stay tuned! 


	3. Four Warlords/Shotokan clones

A.N: Let's see how the 4 Warlords of Shadowloo (or Shadowlaw) are doing…  
  
Translations:  
  
Bishounen: long haired pretty boy  
  
Si: Yes  
  
Ole: Hooray!  
  
Senor: sir  
  
Senorita: miss (not married)  
  
  
  
  
  
Las Vegas, Nevada. One of the wealthiest cites in the entire United States of America. Ever since Street Fighter got laid off, a few Street Fighters figured that they would try their luck here. But for some people, Las Vegas was a trip back home…  
  
Balrog. This was his home. Ever since Street Fighter got the pink slip, he figured that he would go back home and make a profit. So he opened up his own nightclub. It had everything. Gambling, music, food, exotic dancers, and Street Fighting. Sometimes Balrog would battle in his own ring just to give the people a good fight.  
  
But with Balrog's nightclub being a success, he would need some security. But since Balrog couldn't be in two places at once, he would need to get someone else to watch the front of the door. So who was his number one pick? Birdie.  
  
Balrog: You got that, Birdie? Don't let any fool in here who ain't got no cash! And they best to have I.D!  
  
Birdie: Don't worry about it, mate. It's all taken care of.  
  
Balrog: It better be! Or else you gets no pay!  
  
Balrog went back into his nightclub to introduce his dancers. Birdie meanwhile, stood guard to make sure that only people with dough were allowed in.  
  
As Birdie was standing guard, a sixteen-year old was trying to get in. Birdie caught him however…  
  
Birdie: Just what do you think you are doing, kid?  
  
Kid: I want to get in this club…  
  
Birdie: Let me see your I.D…  
  
The kid shows Birdie his fake I.D. The I.D. said that the kid was 21 years old, has dreadlocks and a mustache…  
  
Birdie: I've got one question for you, kid…  
  
The kid starts to tremble, realizing that Birdie is going to hurt him…  
  
Birdie: …how come your hair is long in this picture?  
  
Kid: Well, uh…  
  
Birdie: Out you go…  
  
Birdie grabs the kid, and throws him into a set of trashcans.  
  
Birdie: That's how I take out the trash!  
  
Birdie goes back to his watch, and lets in people who have real I.D. and money…  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, in Spain, we find a certain bishounen driving his Cheetah to one of his client's house. Ever since the fall of Street Fighter, Vega had to find another way to make ends meet. Although he was very rich and could go back to bullfighting, Vega decided to do something else. He wanted to do something that would give him much pleasure. To make a long story short, Vega decided to be a gigolo.  
  
A.N: If you've ever seen "Deuce Bigelow", then you get the idea…  
  
Vega finally arrived at his destination. The estate of Miss Sabrina Sanchez. She was as wealthy as Vega was. But she needed something that only her money could buy… Pleasure. And that's where Vega came in…  
  
Sabrina: It's good to see you again, Vega…  
  
Vega: The honor is all mine, Sabrina. Before we get started, lets not forget about my fee…  
  
Sabrina: Oh yes, 2,000 dollars. How could I forget?  
  
Sabrina summons one of her butlers to her. The butler brings a suitcase and opens it, revealing $2,000, in cash…  
  
Vega: Leave it here…  
  
The butler leaves the suitcase with Vega and leaves to continue his other affairs.  
  
Vega: Do you want it gentle or rough this time?  
  
Sabrina: I want kinky!  
  
Vega: Very well…  
  
Vega reaches into his bag and takes out his infamous claw. He swipes at Sabrina's clothes, making a V slash in from of her dress.  
  
Sabrina: Ole!  
  
Vega: There is more, my little senorita…  
  
Vega swipes his claw at Sabrina again. This time, all of her clothes come off, including her undergarments…  
  
Vega: Now it's time to have a little fun…  
  
Vega reaches back into his bag and pulls out a whip.  
  
Sabrina: Are you Zorro, now?  
  
Vega: Zorro was one of my childhood idols growing up. He knew how to make things go his way. I've learned from what he's done, and improved on it. Now come here…  
  
Sabrina: Si, senor!  
  
  
  
Hollywood, California. It was the best place to go for making movies. A certain muay thai warrior decided to make ends meet here.  
  
The muey thai emperor Sagat, was chosen as the lead in a new pirate movie called "The Muay Thai Buccaneer." The movie sold millions in theaters. Sagat was there on opening night, wearing a nice blue suit. People lined up to receive autographs. Two weeks after the movie was released, Sagat was being interviewed about the making of it.  
  
Interviewer: So how does it feel to finally have a starring role?  
  
Sagat: It was a piece of crap! The stuntmen couldn't take a punch!  
  
Sagat rams his fist against the host's table and breaks it in two immediately.  
  
Sagat: Sorry about that.  
  
Interviewer: Don't worry about it. So aside from the stuntmen, how was the rest of the movie?  
  
Sagat: I was a freaking pirate for crying out loud!  
  
Interviewer: Ookay…  
  
Sagat: Ever since I made my debut in Street Fighter one, people saw me as a pirate. That's all they've been calling me. The pirate that was beaten by Ryu! I'm sick of it! And this movie only adds to their taunting!  
  
Interviewer: If you hate being referred to as a pirate, why did you agree to star in the movie at all?  
  
Sagat: The money.  
  
Interviewer: So what will you do next?  
  
Sagat: I want to find the man responsible for messing up my career and beat him to a bloody pulp!  
  
Sagat breaks the chair that he is sitting on as well as other furniture. Sagat then gets up and leaves…  
  
Interviewer: We'll be back after a commercial…  
  
  
  
New York. Perhaps the best known place for pimps. Each night, pimps would send their women across the streets of New York and try to make that "paper". There was a new pimp however, that was soon going to run every other pimp out of business…  
  
That pimp was called "Master B". Ever since Street Fighter went down the drain, M. Bison used his leadership abilities in a different way. Bison still had control of Juli and Juni, and he managed to brainwash Cammy again to be his favorite girl. Bison was well known throughout New York. Any pimp that challenged him, soon paid the price…  
  
Bison: Where is my money, Juni?  
  
Juni: I don't know…  
  
Bison: B***h!  
  
Bison pimp slapped Juni. He then grabs Juni by the neck and his hand starts glowing…  
  
Bison: If you don't come up with my money in 2 hours, I will break your neck! Now leave me!  
  
Bison throws Juni to the floor. Juni feels around her neck, then slowly stands up…  
  
Juni: As you wish, Master Bison…  
  
Bison's eyes start glowing…  
  
Bison: It's Master B! Don't ever call me anything else, or you shall regret it…  
  
Juni: Yes, Master B…  
  
Juni politely bows, and then slowly limps away from Bison to come up with his money. Bison takes out a cigar, and lights it with his Psycho Power.  
  
Bison: Good help is so hard to find these days…  
  
Just then, Juli shows up.  
  
Bison: Ah, so you have returned Juli. Where is my money?  
  
Juli: Right here.  
  
Juli takes some money out of her pocket and gives it to Bison. Bison counts it all to make sure that it is the correct amount…  
  
Bison: Very good, Juli. You did better than I expected tonight. As a reward for being so obedient, I will give you tomorrow off…  
  
Juli: Thank you Master B…  
  
Bison: Before you go, tell me. Have you seen Cammy?  
  
Juli: Not since last night. Is something the matter?  
  
Bison: No, it's nothing. Go on about your business. Keep making customers happy…  
  
Juli: As you wish.  
  
Juli bowed before Bison and went on her way. Bison continued to sit in his chair smoking his cigar, when suddenly Cammy walked through the door. Bison's eyes immediately started glowing…  
  
Bison: Where have you been? It's been 24 hours since I saw you last!  
  
Cammy: Sorry luv. The customers couldn't keep their hands off of me. I had to raise my fee to shoo away some of them, but they still kept coming.  
  
Bison: Good work, Cammy. I knew I made you my best girl for a reason. I'm getting lonely. Pleasure me.  
  
Cammy: As you wish luv.  
  
Cammy started dancing for Bison. He was quickly becoming aroused. When Cammy started shaking her rear in front of him, he couldn't take it anymore…  
  
Bison unzipped his pants and…  
  
30 minutes later…  
  
Cammy: Oh God! You know how to please me, luv!  
  
Bison: I am not called "Master" for nothing…  
  
So it seems that our four bosses of Shadowloo have done fine with their new jobs. Before we go, lets take a look at Ken in America and see how he is getting along…  
  
Ken was at his dojo called *Ken's Karate.* Ken and his assistant Sean were teaching children, and adults, the way of Shotokan Karate.  
  
Ken: Okay class. That's enough for today. Practice your breathing. It will be necessary to be able to channel ki throughout your body. Until next time.  
  
The class bowed before leaving. Ken took a sip of water from his water bottle while Sean was busy sweeping the dojo.  
  
Sean: Hey Ken?  
  
Ken: Yeah Sean?  
  
Sean: Whatever happened to all of the other Shotokan wannabes?  
  
Ken: I put them in charge of my other branches.  
  
Sean: Wait a minute! You have more than one dojo!  
  
Ken: That's right! This is the main one, but I have others.  
  
Sean: Who teaches at what dojo?  
  
Ken: I put Allen Snider in charge of the branch in New York. Retsu teaches in the branch in Japan, and Kairi teaches a branch in China.  
  
Sean: What about Dan?  
  
Ken: First of all, Dan can't throw a fireball more than 5 inches, so that's out. Hs Kouryuken is okay, but he doesn't know how to perform the Hurricane Kick. To make a long story short, Dan doesn't know Shotokan techniques. Besides, he said he got a new job…  
  
Sean: What does he do?  
  
Ken: That's a good question. Dan has been so secretive about his job. He must be embarrassed about it. But don't worry. I'll find out what it is. And then I'm going to laugh!  
  
It seems like Ken is doing fine, and I knew that those other Shotokan clones would be useful somewhere. Next chapter, we will find out what Dan's mysterious job is, so stay tuned! 


	4. Mysteries revealed

A.N: Yeah, I know it's been a while. I've just been waiting for inspiration to come back to this fic, and with A.O.T.D.C.B. (Attack of the Dark Cherry Blossom) finished, I can come back. I'm sorry you all had to wait so long, but I also had to really think hard about Dan's mysterious job. Thank you all for the suggestions on his career, but it's something that's really going to be humiliating. This chapter will also reveal a little bit more of the main plot that I have. Without further ado, enjoy!  
  
  
After going through a week of school, Chun Li decided that her and Ryu should spend the weekend at the amusement park. She also invited Blanka to join in on the fun.  
  
Chun Li: If those women ever lay a finger on you again, I swear that I will kill them!  
  
Ryu: Don't do that, Chun Li, or I might never graduate...  
  
Chun Li: I just don't want those women trying to take what's mine!  
  
Ryu: I'm not the only one they were after. They were also after Blanka...  
  
Chun Li: Blanka is cute, in a beastly sort of way.  
  
Blanka: Thank you, Chun Li.  
  
Chun Li: *eyes wide* Blanka! You can talk!   
  
Blanka: I've always been able to talk. It's just that nobody except Dan has been able to understand me.  
  
Chun Li: I'm really proud of you, Blanka!  
  
Blanka: Thanks.  
  
Chun Li: How come Dan didn't come with us?  
  
Blanka: He said he had to work.  
  
Chun Li: I'm going to find out what his secret job is if it kills me!  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, in Madison Square Gardens...  
  
J.R: Welcome to WWF Raw Ladies and Gentlemen! Tonight's main event is going to be a slobber knocker!  
  
Lawler: I just hope that I get to see some puppies or HLA!  
  
J.R: Is that all you ever think about?  
  
Lawler: Yep!  
  
J.R: Anyway, our main event is for the InterGender tag-team championship! (A.N: I know that it doesn't exist, but I made it up)  
  
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is one-fall, and it is for the InterGender tag-team championship. Our challengers, weighing a total of over 300 pounds, Zangief and R.Mika!  
  
*Zangief and R.Mika enter the arena. *  
  
Announcer: And our other challengers, also weighing a total of over 300 pounds, Darun Mister and Pullum!  
  
J.R: This is going to be a good match, folks! Zangief and Darun have a rivalry that goes way back to the EX days...  
  
Lawler: I just wanna see some puppies!  
  
Ding!  
  
J.R: And the bell signals the start of the match. Zangief and Darun have entered the ring first, those two being the more experienced of their respective teams. Darun starts things off with a beautiful closeline. Zangief gets right back up however, and counters with a green glove! Ohh, that had to hurt!  
  
Lawler: Maybe the ladies ought to stay with me where it's safe...  
  
J.R: Zangief picks Darun up now, and whips him against the ropes! Zangief tries to finish Darun off with a closeline, but Darun is thinking the same thing! Both men are knocked out!   
  
Referee: One! Two! Three!   
  
J.R: And the referee has begun the countdown! Neither man looks like they are about to get up!  
  
Lawler: If they don't do something fast, both of them are going to lose!  
  
J.R: Right you are, King! Wait a minute! Both men have gotten up! They both need to tag!  
  
Lawler: Yes! It's time for some HLA!  
  
J.R: Darun makes it to his corner and tags Pullum in! Can Zangief get to R.Mika before it is too late?  
  
Lawler: Come on Zangief! Tag her in!  
  
J.R: And Zangief manages to tag his partner! R.Mika is in the ring!  
  
Lawler: Yes!  
  
J.R: Pullum takes R.Mika down with a drill kick! As R.Mika starts to get up, Pullum delivers a somersault kick! This isn't looking good for R.Mika folks!  
  
Lawler: But I'm happy! HLA! HLA!  
  
Audience: HLA! HLA!  
  
J.R: Now look at what you've started! Anyway, Pullum is about to use another drill kick, but R.Mika steps out of the way. As Pullum turns around, she gets hit by a flying butt attack!  
  
Lawler: Yes! Come on Ladies!  
  
J.R: R.Mika goes to the top of the ropes now. She's going to end this! Wait a second! Darun just hit her from behind with a chair! The ref didn't see that!  
  
Lawler: The ref is so blind!  
  
J.R: But Zangief did, and now him and Darun are fighting outside, which gives Pullum just enough time to wake up and hold R.Mika for the pin. The ref starts the count!  
  
Audience: One! Two! Three!  
  
Ding! Ding! Ding!  
  
Announcer: Your winner, and the new InterGender Tag-team champions, Darun and Pullum!  
  
J.R: It's a shame, folks. Zangief and R.Mika had this match won, but they were screwed!  
  
Lawler: At least we got some nice HLA!  
  
J.R: The match may be over, but the fight sure isn't! Zangief just tossed Darun back into the ring! Oh no! Zangief is setting Darun up for his signature move! The spinning pile driver! He connects!  
  
Lawler: I'd hate to be Darun right about now...  
  
J.R: Couldn't agree with you more, King. Zangief just gave a message to Darun that they will meet again!  
  
*****  
  
Back at the amusement park...  
  
Ryu: How about some cotton candy?  
  
Chun Li: Sure! I would love some!  
  
Ryu: Okay, I'll be right back.   
  
(Ryu leaves)  
  
Blanka: What do you see in Ryu?  
  
Chun Li: He's sweet, loves nature, and has a great body!  
  
Blanka: Chun Li!! I didn't think you would be that type of girl!  
  
Chun Li: Shh... It's my secret. Don't tell Ryu that.  
  
***  
  
Ryu: One cotton candy, please.  
  
(Ryu gives money to cashier)  
  
Ryu: Thank you.  
  
Ryu is about to go back to Chun Li and Blanka when he hears screams coming from the other direction.  
  
Ryu: I wonder what is going on...  
  
Ryu runs off in the direction of the screams and sees a bunch of kids beating up on a guy in a dinosaur costume.  
  
Ryu: (laughing to himself) Ha! Ha! Ha! I feel sorry for the guy in that costume!  
  
Kid 1: You suck!  
  
Kid 2: Yeah! You aren't funny!  
  
Man in dinosaur costume: Stop! What did I ever do to you?  
  
The kids continue beating up on the man in the costume until he falls down and waves a white flag as a sign of retreat. The kids decide to leave him alone and walk away, but not before one kid comes back and kicks him in the nuts.  
  
Man in dinosaur costume: Ow!! That hurt!  
  
Ryu: Poor man...  
  
Man in dinosaur costume: That's it! I quit! No amount of torture is worth this!  
  
(Man takes off dinosaur head)  
  
Ryu: Dan???  
  
Dan: Ryu?! No! Nobody was supposed to find out! I'm ruined!   
  
Ryu: Relax Dan, I won't tell anybody, but why did you keep this job a secret?  
  
Dan: It should be obvious! I get no respect! I get tortured by kids every day, babies spit on me, women hit me with their purses, and even the old people are getting in on the act!   
  
Ryu: I feel sorry for you Dan...  
  
Dan: I wouldn't be in this predicament if "he" didn't mess everything up!  
  
Ryu: Yes...you are right..."he" messed up all of our lives. Don't worry. We'll make him pay!  
  
Dan: Thanks. Oh no! Someone's coming!  
  
(Dan puts back on his dinosaur head)  
  
Chun Li and Blanka finally meet up with Ryu.  
  
Chun Li: Ryu! Where have you been? I've been waiting for ten minutes!  
  
Ryu: Sorry, Chun. Something came up. Here is your cotton candy.  
  
Chun Li: Thank you!  
  
Blanka: It's a shame that Dan couldn't be here today. This was a great day.  
  
Ryu: I'm sure that Dan would be here if he could, but he has to make ends meet. Come on; let's go on one more ride before we head for home...  
  
(Ryu, Chun Li, and Blanka walk off in another direction leaving behind the man in the dinosaur costume who unknown to all except Ryu, is really Dan)  
  
Dan: I will make you pay...for ruining my life! Just you wait...I will have my revenge!  
  
(A kid comes out of no where and kicks Dan in the nuts)  
  
Dan: Ow! You stupid kid! Come back here!  
  
Dan chases the kid away... 


End file.
